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Lovers who share a sense of humor, stay together longer. Humor is the key to an evergreen relationship. If you want to win your lover's heart, use humor. With a dash of humor and love, make your day extra special with these funny Valentine's Day quotes.
Helen Rowland
A bride at her second wedding does not wear a veil. She wants to see what she is getting.

Groucho Marx
Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.

Mickey Rooney
Get married early in the morning. That way, if it doesn't work out, you haven't wasted a whole day.

Rita Rudner
I love being married. It’s so great to find one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

Tracy Smith
I wanted to make it really special on Valentine's Day, so I tied my boyfriend up. And for three solid hours I watched whatever I wanted on TV.

Francis Bacon
It is impossible to love and be wise.

Ally McBeal
It’s funny how we set qualifications to the right person to love, when we know at the back of our heads the person whom we truly love will always be an exception.

Mirabeau
Love has the power of making you believe what you would normally treat with the deepest suspicion.

Plato
Love is a grave mental disease.

Hoosier Farmer
Love is the thing that enables a woman to sing while she mops up the floor after her husband has walked across it in his barn boots.

Rita Rudner
My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to.

Phyllis Diller
Never go to bed mad -- stay up and fight.

Joyce Brothers
No matter how love sick a woman is, she shouldn't take the first pill that comes along.

Oscar Wilde
One should always be in love. That is the reason one should never marry.

Margaret Atwood
The Eskimos have fifty two words for snow because it is so special to them; there ought to be as many for love.

Ann Landers
The poor wish to be rich, the rich wish to be happy, the single wish to be married, and the married wish to be dead.

Yiddish Proverb
Three things can't be hidden: coughing, poverty, and love.

H. L. Mencken
To be in love is merely to be in a state of perceptual anesthesia.

Jay Leno
Today is Valentine's Day. Or, as men like to call it, Extortion day.

Erich Segal
True love comes quietly, without banners or flashing lights. If you hear bells, get your ears checked.

Anonymous
Valentine’s Day is when a lot of married men are reminded what a poor shot Cupid really is.

Rosanne Barr
Women are cursed, and men are the proof.

Mae West
Women with pasts interest men. They hope history will repeat itself.


Valentine's Day 2011Valentine's Day quotesValentine's Day sayingsHappy Valentine's DayValentine's Day February 14
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Valentine's Day 2011 falls on Monday, February 14, 2011, and lovers with a silly sense of humor are already searching online for funny love quotes, funny Valentine's jokes, and corny Valentines limericks. Whether for romance or a good laugh, these Valentine's Day quotes will get you in the mood for the "Love Holiday."

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What To Do With These Valentine's Day Quotes

View slideshow: HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY Pictures: Chocolate Covered Strawberries, Cakes, Valentine's Chocolates Images

Now that you have a great list of Valentine's quotes, what in the world are you going to do with them? You can always memorize a few and use them at appropriate times—or at silly inappropriate times! Or, wait until you get into an elevator, bus, or at the office, and surprise everyone. That'll get a few laughs and cut the ice! Another way to use these Valentine's quotes is to buy some colored card stock and some wacky Valentine's Day stickers, glitter, and tacky decorations, and make your own homemade Valentine's cards!

"Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes. There's too much fraternizing with the enemy." - Henry Kissinger
"Love is being stupid together." - Paul Valery
"Love is an electric blanket with somebody else in control of the switch." - Cathy Carlyle
"Lord! I wonder what fool it was that first invented kissing." - Jonathon Swift
"Love is a game that two can play and both win." - Eva Gabor
"Love puts the fun in together, the sad in apart, and the joy in a heart." - Author Unknown
"Falling in love is so hard on the knees." - Aerosmith
"Give me a thousand kisses, then a hundred, then a thousand more." - Catullus
"Anyone can be passionate, but it takes real lovers to be silly." - Rose Franken
"Men have died from time to time, and worms have eaten them, - but not for love." - William Shakespeare
"I love you like crazy, baby 'Cuz I'd go crazy without you." - Pixie Foudre
"I don't understand why Cupid was chosen to represent Valentine's Day. When I think about romance, the last thing on my mind is a short, chubby toddler coming at me with a weapon." - Author Unknown
"Like I've always said, love wouldn't be blind if the braille weren't so damned much fun." - Armistead Maupin, Maybe the Moon
"What the world really needs is more love and less paper work." - Pearl Bailey
"True love comes quietly, without banners or flashing lights. If you hear bells, get your ears checked." - Erich Segal
"Love - a wildly misunderstood although highly desirable malfunction of the heart which weakens the brain, causes eyes to sparkle, cheeks to glow, blood pressure to rise and the lips to pucker." - Author Unknown
"Valentine's Day is when a lot of married men are reminded what a poor shot Cupid really is." - Author Unknown
"Without love, what are we worth? Eighty-nine cents! Eighty-nine cents worth of chemicals walking around lonely." - M*A*S*H, Hawkeye
"Love is much nicer to be in than an automobile accident, a tight girdle, a higher tax bracket or a holding pattern over Philadelphia." - Judith Viorst, Redbook, 1975
"If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?" - Author Unknown

Funny and silly Valentines cards sometimes have the most outlandish sayings, like this one: "Roses are red, Blue is the sky, If you don't become my Valentine, I'll just eat till I die." "I smiled, I winked, I have been quite a flirt. So here's a Valentine because you're not too alert." These and more can be found at Brownielocks.com.

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Valentine's Day Card Shopping in Rhode Island

Crafters in the Providence, Rhode Island area planning to make their own Valentine's Day cards, can get everything they need at Joann Fabrics, Michaels Crafts, I-Party, and AC Moore. These craft and party stores are all located on Bald Hill Road in Warwick, RI, and have everything you're looking for to make homemade Valentine's cards. Staples, Walmart, and Target have good deals on card stock that are perfect for nice for cards.