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Funny Funny Quotes Biography
Something must have been in the water before Super Bowl XLV, because both the Green Bay Packers and the Pittsburgh Steelers began saying things that made kindergartners shake their heads.

One culprit: Ben Roethlisberger. When asked how the Steelers could win the big game, he had this to say:

“I think for me, I mean, obviously, we have to try to score more points than they do.”

Now, whether or not you think he was joking doesn't matter. Quotes like these leak from athletes almost daily, they just happen to get noticed on the big stages.

That's how the saying, "If a man says something reflecting his idiocy in a forest, and no one is there to hear it, is he still an idiot?" came to exist.

In Roethlisberger's defense, he's not nearly the worst. Press conferences, color commentary and trash talk have tickled sports fans' funny bones since the dawn of time, so there's a deep collection of these quotable gems.

So who's the most memorable?

"When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep - not screaming, like the passengers in his car."
― Unknown

Funny quotes can lead to laughter.

They say that laughter is the best medicine.... And you know what? It is!

The sound of roaring laughter often get’s ones attention and more often than not, it’s contagious.

But did you know that laughter can strengthen your immune system and boost your energy levels while simultaneously protecting your body from stress.

... What’s more, it’s priceless medicine!

So here’s what we prescribe for you: A good dose of funny quotes, hilarious sayings and amusing universal truths.

Why not note a few of these funny quotes down and try to include them in your conversations when the time’s right.

Ask a few people, “Did you hear any funny quotes today?” or “What was the funniest thing that happened to you today? Over the month or over the last few years?”

Try to incorporate laughter into your daily activities by building some time into your day to read humorous books, visit humorous sites and/or to watch funny movies.

Here are our funny quotes for you... Enjoy!

Funny Quotes
Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.
- Jim Carrey

Food, love, career, and mothers, are the four major guilt groups.
- Cathy Guisewite

I don't need you to remind me of my age. I have a bladder to do that for me.
- Stephen Fry

The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.
- Unknown

Sorry, I can’t hangout. My uncle’s cousin’s sister in law’s best friend’s insurance agent’s roommate’s pet goldfish died. Maybe next time.
– Unknown

My computer beat me at checkers, but I sure beat it at kickboxing.
- Emo Philips

More Funny Quotes
When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.
- George Burns

I have never been hurt by what I have not said.
- Calvin Coolidge

Things that Grandpas say: Seen it all, done it all...........can't remember most of it.
- Unknown

Men, chocolate, and coffee are all better rich.
- Unknown

Constipated People; Don't Give a crap.
- Unknown

Things that overprotective mothers say: If you die, I'll kill you. - Unknown

You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 today and we don't know where the hell she is.
- Ellen DeGeneres.

Yet even more Funny Quotes
To 'Act Natural' doesn't make sense?
- Unknown

Mum: No one goes to that restaurant anymore... - It’s always too crowded. Daughter: Yes that explains the line out the door?
- Author Unknown

When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife is.
- Unknown and just as well

We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police. People who snore always fall asleep first.
- Author Unknown

We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.
- Unknown

Rummaging in an overgrown garden will always turn up a bouncy ball.